Relationship matters

Reasons why the name of your ex still often comes up in your mind even though you are sure that you don’t love them anymore

Written by Razhiel, posted on 19 July 2024 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

(1) Some energetic cords between you two still exist and are required to be cut for you to be completely free from them energetically.

(2) When people are in love, they can exchange energy, so some energy from your ex might still remain within you, and some of yours within them. If you want to learn more about the energy exchange that happens during intense intimacy, read this post.

(3) Some wounds related to this ex remain unhealed, so your mind calling them is your inner self’s way of making you aware that you need to heal those wounds.

Potential reasons why you aren’t in a loving relationship or marriage even though you want to

Written by Razhiel, posted on 5 May 2023 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

Manifesting a loving relationship and marriage can be quite a self-discovery, self-growth and self-healing journey! Below is a long (but still incomplete) list of potential reasons why your relationship desire hasn’t been fulfilled yet:

~ Feeling unworthy of having a loving relationship/marriage and a loving partner due to lack of self-love and having low self-esteem.

~ Holding onto beliefs that you need to have certain qualities in order to be “qualified” to be in a relationship. e.g. I need to have a good career first, or I need to be good looking.

~ Fear of being abandoned, or getting hurt or betrayed. If you have been abandoned or cheated by a spouse in the past or in some past lives, subconsciously you may be running the energy that if you get into a relationship, you will get abandoned or betrayed again. And this fear could block you from manifesting a loving relationship.

~ Fear of abandoning, hurting or betraying the person you love. The opposite of the previous situation. If you have abandoned or betrayed someone in the past or in some past lives, regardless of whether you did it willingly or were forced to, you may worry that you will hurt your loved one again if you get into a relationship.

~ Blockages on love, and fear of love. There can be many causes, and here is an example: In some past lives, you loved someone intensely. When they died, you felt devastated. Hence, in this life you harbor the fear that this situation may happen again, and loving someone is dangerous and may result in heart break.

~ Doubt: do you feel unsure if being in a relationship/marriage is right for you? Do you feel unsure if the person you are currently with is right for you? Or do you wonder if there is someone out there who suits you better? However, if your partner suits you well, but you still feel unsure about them, it may mean that you have commitment issues or are not ready to commit yet.

~ Fear of commitment. Bad experiences, such as witnessing parents divorcing each other, and your own previous heartbreaks, can make you feel scared of relationships or feel that it is impossible to maintain a long-lasting healthy relationship. The other reason could be that you still have your eye on many fish in the pond, and you don’t feel ready to settle down yet.

~ Having the belief that being in a relationship or marriage will cost your freedom even though you want to be in one. Here, you have a belief that forces your two desires to crush against each other, causing the Universe to only be able to fulfill one of them. To resolve this situation, you have to let go of that belief, and understand that freedom and being in a relationship can go hand-in-hand. You just need to attract a partner who also values freedom, and work out the details with them on how to maintain a loving relationship while also giving each other enough space and freedom.

~ Having the belief that taking care of your partner/spouse requires a lot of work, which you feel unwilling to do.

~ Holding vows of celibacy (staying single or aseptic) earlier this life, or from some past lives. Vows from past lives can still have the power to influence unless they're released.

~ Holding a vow to marry a specific person, whether from earlier in this life or a past life, but this person is unavailable or has not reincarnated in this lifetime. Due to the binding effect of the vow, it may disrupt your ability to form a union with anyone else.

~ Having beliefs that it requires staying single in order to achieve spiritual progress or you see married life as a hurdle to achieving enlightenment. It can particularly be a problem if you grow up in an environment where priests and monks, or any spiritual people are supposed to be single, and relationships are seen as attachments that should be let go.

~ Blocked by someone else’s desires. e.g. a parent who refuses to let their child go because they want the child to stay with them to serve them, and their desires are so strong that they block their child from manifesting a suitable suitor.

~ The Universe has already planned a spouse for you, but your current vibration doesn’t support the manifestation of bringing them into your life. You will need to be relaxed with the situation, and clean up your vibration to bring them into your life. I have written tips on how to clean up your vibrations in another post, titled “4 ways to uplift your vibration and keep it high."

~ The Universe has prioritized something else for you to experience first. There can be various reasons why the timing hasn’t arrived yet. Perhaps, you are currently busy with learning other important themes in life. Perhaps, you are handling something so important that in fact this is the very reason why you have reincarnated here this life. Or perhaps, you need to discover yourself more or develop certain qualities first in order to match the frequency of manifesting the person and the relationship of your dreams. For the last reason, the divine intelligence will throw you a bunch of lessons that may seemingly be unrelated to bringing a loving relationship into your life, but in hindsight you will perhaps discover that those events push you to grow in a certain way that you will eventually become a person who can sustain the relationship of your dreams.

~ Still holding onto the energy of the previous relationship(s). You can't travel to a far new place when you are carrying something extremely heavy. You have no space to store new fresh food when your refrigerator is filled with old rotten food. Similarly, new energy and relationship can't come in if you are still holding the energy of your previous relationship(s) within you. You have to let it go, and move on from the past. In some cases, the energetic connections between you and ex(es) can still exist, and you will have to cut them as well.

Intense intimacy can lead to an exchange in energy, which results in sharing of thought and emotional patterns, energetic blocks and karmas

Written by Razhiel, posted on 22 February 2023 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

A romantic relationship is a union between two people; energetically it is certainly the case.

There are many kinds of energetic connections that we can form. Among them, the romantic connection is the one that leads to intense energy exchange between us and the person we are connected with. When energy is exchanged between you and your lover, it results in sharing of thought and emotional patterns, energetic blockages and karmas between you two. It can be for better or worse, depending on what kinds of thought and emotional patterns your lover has, and how much and what kinds of blockages and karmas they have to handle.

Some have suggested that (physical) sex is the act that leads to the energy exchange. However, just the thought of being intimate with your lover can already exchange your energy with theirs, even when no physical action is performed, as our thoughts carry energy. Remember: “where the thought goes, energy flows” (quote from Vedic astrologer and scholar Eve Mendoza)! As a prerequisite for this energy exchange, the energetic connection between you and your lover has to be present. If it is cut or severely blocked, then there will be no energy exchange.

This energy exchange phenomenon also matches with the astrological narrative. In astrology, marriage can activate some planetary energies on one’s astrological chart. However, intense energy connections and exchange between you and your lover can already activate those energies even without having any legally binding agreement. Furthermore, you two’s charts can influence each other (e.g. synastry), which is an astrological way to describe how your lover could affect you energetically.

Attracting your ex-lover by the Law of Attraction: clearing blocks and aligning vibrations between you two

Written by Razhiel, posted on 28 October 2022 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

When you first break up with your loved one, your vibration would usually drop as you would likely have to go through a period of grief and anger. As you heal and feel better, your vibration rises again. However, if you continue to see that person negatively, you may manifest a version of that person who still remains in a lower vibration. As a result, you may energetically reject that person as that person does not match your recently improved vibration, and hence have them bounced off from your life.

Ask yourself the following questions to see if you still harbor negative feelings around this person and your relationship with them:

~ What do you feel about this person? Do you see them positively? Do you feel that they are suitable for you? Can they satisfy your desires?
~ What do you feel about getting back together with them? Do you feel it is possible? Do you feel that the relationship will be loving and fulfilling? Do you think it will bring you happiness? Do you believe it will last? Do you really want that person back?

By asking the above questions, you can find out any beliefs that prevent you from manifesting your ex-lover back into your life, and change those beliefs accordingly. However, if no matter how much you have worked on your vibration and changing your beliefs, and your heart still says no to your ex-lover, perhaps your experience has helped you evolve so much that your ex-lover is no longer an excellent match with you, and the Universe has arranged someone better for you instead! So, it can be beneficial for you to be open to new possibilities!

Dealing with Conflicts in Relationships

Written by Auriel on March 17 2022

When conflicts arise, tension between two parties grows because of the reluctance to understand and acknowledge each other’s feelings. ‘Facts’ could be thrown at the other person to make him or her realise that they are wrong. But the ultimate reason is often more about the desire of wanting our own feelings acknowledged by the other person than proving that the other person is wrong. This desire for acknowledgement usually goes both ways.

While the deeds could be right or wrong, there is no correct or wrong feeling.

Blockages and/ or stuck energies from the heart and sacral chakras could cause us to close up ourselves to feeling and receiving love, affection, appreciation, and acknowledgement. If the base chakra is also blocked, there is often a strong feeling of insufficiency or 'not having enough' that could also translate to fear and resentment. All of these could intensify reluctance to opening ourselves up to accepting the views and acknowledging the feelings of others. When this happens, acknowledgement from others may not be easily seen by us either, which altogether worsens the conflicts.

If you run into conflicts in a relationship, try to start by acknowledging that the other person is entitled to his or her feelings. Accept that he or she feels the way they do before presenting your view. When presenting your view, think about the intention of you addressing the issue—what is it that you truly want to express? Is it out of love or out of fear? Do not let fear cloud your judgement.

If you need advice or guidance, Auriel offers card-reading and is developing her relationship counselling service. Razhiel offers SRT and twin-flame counselling which help clear soul-level thought or behavioural patterns that could have accumulated through past, parallel or future lives.

Dealing with Breakup

Written by Auriel on March 01 2022

When we experience a breakup, it is easy to get into a vicious cycle of negative emotions. This could start with a state of anger and denial where we feel reluctant to accept the situation, a different opinion, or facts. Because we have invested so much time and energy into a person we care so much about, when things turn out different from how we expect, we could feel ‘betrayed’, for ‘how can this happen to me? I have done so so much. All the effort could not have been for nothing’. And so, we deny. Often, this denial stems from a deeper fear of rejection or abandonment.

Sometimes, we could be committing too much, making too many compromises only because we feel that if we do not, this person would leave us and ‘I do not want to be alone’.

Such fear of rejection and abandonment could be soul programmes accumulated throughout different lifetimes or experiences, that can be cleared through spiritual healing techniques such as Razhiel’s SRT. Auriel’s card-reading can also offer advice about how to best handle the situation while wearing the right crystal(s) helps draw into your life what you want.

But any spiritual workings would only be additional assistance to our own efforts to let go, change and grow. And before we can bring about what we want, sometimes we do need to go through and embrace such sad experience before we could rise above them. With strong emotions there is great power that could be harnessed for higher awareness that helps us progress.

Do not run away from pain. Take courage to face it. In confrontation with our fear, we take control and hence power back to ourselves.

How to attract the right romantic partner by using the Law of Attraction

Written by Razhiel, posted on 11 February 2022 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

Ask yourself the following questions to see if you still harbor negative feelings around this person and your relationship with them:

Connections, attachments, and cords: an energetic study

Written by Razhiel, original article posted on 18 December 2018 on theearthforce.tumblr.com.

In the past year, I have been guided to get hand-on experiences to study and understand the energetic relations between a person and another existence in the world. Here is what I have found out so far, facilitated by my inner guidance and inspirations from Abraham-Hicks, Carlos Castaneda’s writings about his shamanism training with Don Juan Matus, and the Seth Material. To begin, there are three kinds of energetic relations between two people, or a person and an existence such as an object, a concept, a problem or an idea: (1) connections, (2) attachments, and (3) cords.

(1) A connection is driven by the agreement of the soul contracts between two people to maintain a close relation at the current moment. Under an optimal situation, people who we are connected to are the ones who are currently helping us to shift and supporting our lives. It can be our spouses, close friends, close family members, and important mentors and colleagues. It is represented as love (when the connection is strong) and a sense of caring.

Connections can come and go. In principle, the souls would deactivate the connection once the agreement expires, but it may not always be the case. Also, when two people are connected, their energies may affect each other, be it good or bad. Therefore, we need to optimise our connections: only activating the connections between us and the people who are important to us, and deactivating the rest. Our connections are part of us. Take care of them well!

(2) Attachments are energies between one person and another existence. They are the energies that give us negative emotions such as fear and sadness when we lose them in the physical reality, which is only a part of the bigger truth. The thing we are attached to can be a person, a place, an object, or even a concept (e.g. self-identity). Attachment is not love, although people can mistake fear and sadness as love (it is what we were taught since we were kids. That’s why we often mess them up.). According to Abraham-Hicks, love comes from our inner beings, which is part of the Source. When we are aligned to our inner beings, we feel love. Negative emotions do not come from our inner beings, and they appear when we are not aligned. However, it is possible that when two people are in love with each other, they also feel the fear of losing each other. In this case, they are both connected and attached.

When we make big decisions in life, it is advised to align ourselves to our inner beings first, then we would be able to tell whom we really have connections with and what we truly want. This prevents us from mistaking attachments as connections. Watch out that at different frequencies, we may want and be attracted to different things. However, when our frequencies are low, what we want may not be what our inner beings really want and may not be the best for us. So, stay tuned to our inner beings as much as possible, but understand it is normal that there are moments and periods that we are mis-aligned from our inner beings: this gives us contrasts and lessons, which can be good for us in the long run.

(3) Cords are energies between one person and another existence. When we focus on someone or something, a cord is formed and its energy may interfere us. Since we are the creators of our lives, every existence we focus on requires our energies to manifest it in great details in our lives. Therefore, when we skim through someone or something, and already feel that its energy is bad, don’t focus on it! If we focus on a problem, e.g. keeping on thinking about it, the energy related to that problem can come to us as well!

Our thoughts and energies can form cords that are beyond us as well: if we think about a problem with a person, even if that person has nothing to do with that problem, a cord can be formed between the two and that person can be affected by the energy of that problem! Therefore, we need to be mindful with our thoughts. It would be even better if the skill of cord cutting is acquired.

What to do if you feel that you are having problems with your connections, attachments and cords? A clearing/healing guide written according to my personal experience as a spiritual healer:

(I) Ask your High Self to declutter your connections to the optimal situation

(II) Cut all the attachments and cords between you and other people, world energy, the world and material possessions, past history, negative programs, energetic blocks, reasons, causes, beliefs, perceptions, judgement, false ideas, false concepts and other people’s energies (their opinions, their views, etc) *from* you, your connections, your physical and non-physical (e.g. websites, business, work) items, and your living area (yes, our items and our residence are extensions of us and need to be well taken care too!)

(III) Clear any negative program, energetic block, reason, cause, belief, perception, judgement, false idea, false concept that you have with your connections

(IV) You may need to do clearing/healing for some of the people whom you are connected to, especially if they are not well energetically

Note, potential physical side-effect during clearing: Reiki master Linda Elis told me that attachments are related to the stomach areas of our bodies. When I was cutting attachments and cords, I felt stomach discomfort. Once the clearing was done, my stomach felt much better.