Relationship matters

Why Love Isn’t Happening for You Yet

A Law of Attraction perspective on why a loving relationship may not have entered your life.

Post by Razhiel on 11 March 2026

Manifesting a loving relationship can be a powerful journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and healing. Along the way, we often uncover beliefs, fears, past wounds, and energies that may be influencing what we attract into our lives.

Below is a list of possible reasons why the loving relationship you desire may not have manifested yet. Some of these reasons may resonate with you, while others may not. The purpose of this list is not to assign blame, but to encourage reflection and awareness, with the aim of supporting you on your journey toward love. With that in mind, here are some possible reasons, arranged into five categories:

I. Fears and Other Emotional Patterns

~ Questions about self-worth
Sometimes we may feel unworthy of a loving relationship or partner, often due to low self-esteem or a lack of self-love.

~ Fear of being abandoned, or getting hurt or betrayed
If you have been abandoned or betrayed by a spouse in the past, or even in past lives, you may subconsciously fear that entering a relationship will lead to abandonment or betrayal again. This fear could make it harder to manifest a loving relationship.

~ Fear of abandoning, hurting, or betraying the person you love
It’s the opposite of the previous situation. If you have abandoned or betrayed someone in the past or past lives, regardless of whether you did so willingly or were forced, you may worry that you will hurt your loved one again if you get into a relationship.

~ Fear of love
There can be many causes of this fear. For example, in some past lives you may have loved someone deeply. When they died, the loss might be so devastating that you may unconsciously associate deep love with the possibility of pain. As a result, you may carry a subconscious fear in this life that the same situation could happen again, and that loving someone may lead to heartbreak.

~ Doubt
Do you feel unsure whether being in a relationship is right for you? Or wonder whether the person you are currently with is truly the right match? You may even question whether there might be someone out there who suits you better. However, if your partner suits you well but you still feel uncertain about the relationship, it may simply mean that you are not fully ready to commit yet.

~ Fear of commitment
Difficult experiences, such as witnessing your parents’ divorce or going through previous heartbreaks, can make committing to a relationship feel frightening. This may also lead you to believe that maintaining a long-lasting, healthy relationship is difficult or even impossible. In other cases, you may feel that there are still many possibilities to explore and that you are not ready to settle down yet.

II. Belief-Based Influences

~ Beliefs about needing to “qualify” for love
You might believe that you need certain achievements or qualities before being ready for a relationship (for example, having a successful career or looking a certain way).

~ Believing relationships require more energy than you feel ready to give
You might associate relationships with significant responsibility or effort and feel hesitant about taking that on.

~ Beliefs about losing independence
You may desire a relationship while also believing that it could limit your freedom. When these two desires conflict, they can create mixed signals about what you truly want. To resolve this, it’s important to let go of that belief, and understand that freedom and a loving relationship can co-exist. The key is to attract a partner who also values freedom and to work together on maintaining a relationship that allows both of you enough space and independence.

~ Beliefs about remaining single being an requirement to achieve spiritual progress
If you were raised in an environment where spirituality was associated with celibacy or detachment from relationships, this belief may influence your outlook. A part of you may see married life as a hurdle to achieving enlightenment, and relationships as attachments to be let go of.

III. Unresolved Past Connections

~ Energy of previous relationships still remaining
You can’t travel far when you’re carrying a heavy load, and you can’t store fresh food in a refrigerator filled with old, spoiled items. Similarly, new energy and relationships can’t enter your life if you are still carrying the energy of past relationships, regardless of whether you are aware of it. It’s important to release it in order to move forward. In some cases, energetic connections with ex-partners may still exist, and you may need to consciously disconnect them as well.

~ Past vow to marry a specific person
You may have vowed to marry a specific person earlier in this life or a past life, but this person is unavailable or has not reincarnated in this lifetime. Due to the binding effect of the vow, it may disrupt your ability to form a union with anyone else.

IV. Other Energies and Your Alignment

~ Past vows of celibacy
Vows from past lives can still have influential power unless they’re released. If you have vowed to be ascetic or stay single, which is quite common for anyone who has past lives as monks or nuns, such a vow could block you from love.

~ Blocked by someone else’s desires
For example, parents may strongly desire their child to stay home and take care of them, and this desire can unintentionally block the child from manifesting a suitable partner.

~ Future Partner already planned by the Universe; you just need to align your vibration
Just relax, focus on what brings you joy, and work on raising your vibration. In time, the person meant for you may suddenly appear in your life. 😊 You can raise your vibration by releasing harmful beliefs, buried emotions, and negative energy.

V. A Matter of Your Soul Plan

~ The Universe has prioritized other experiences for you first
There can be various reasons why the timing hasn’t arrived yet. Perhaps you are currently focused on learning other important life lessons. Perhaps you are handling something so significant that, in fact, this is the very reason you have incarnated in this life. Or perhaps you need to discover more about yourself or develop certain qualities first, in order to align with the vibration of the relationship you desire. For this reason, the divine intelligence may present you with lessons that at first seem unrelated to love, but in hindsight, you may realize that these experiences help you grow into the person capable of sustaining the relationship of your dreams.

That’s the end of my list of 16 possible reasons why love hasn’t yet knocked on your door. Thank you for reading, and may love find its way to you soon!

Reasons why the name of your ex still often comes up in your mind even though you are sure that you don’t love them anymore

Written by Razhiel, posted on 19 July 2024 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

(1) Some energetic cords between you two still exist and are required to be cut for you to be completely free from them energetically.

(2) When people are in love, they can exchange energy, so some energy from your ex might still remain within you, and some of yours within them. If you want to learn more about the energy exchange that happens during intense intimacy, read this post.

(3) Some wounds related to this ex remain unhealed, so your mind calling them is your inner self’s way of making you aware that you need to heal those wounds.

Intense intimacy can lead to an exchange in energy, which results in sharing of thought and emotional patterns, energetic blocks and karmas

Written by Razhiel, posted on 22 February 2023 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

A romantic relationship is a union between two people; energetically it is certainly true.

We can form many types of energetic connections, but the romantic connection often leads to the most intense energy exchange. This exchange involves the sharing of thought and emotional patterns, energetic blockages, and karmic influences. Whether this exchange benefits or challenges you depends on the type and extent of these patterns, blockages and karmas your lover carries.

Some suggest that physical intimacy facilitates energy exchange. However, even the thought of intimacy can transfer energy, as thoughts themselves carry energy. As the saying goes, "where the thought goes, energy flows." For this exchange to happen, a pre-existing energetic connection must be present. If it is blocked or severed, no energy exchange can occur.

This energy exchange phenomenon also aligns with the astrological narrative. In astrology, marriage is said to activate certain planetary energies in one’s chart. However, a strong energetic connection and exchange with your lover can activate these energies without legal ties. To see how your lover's energy can affect you, astrology offers multiple techniques, such as analyzing synastry and composite charts.

Attracting your ex-lover by the Law of Attraction: clearing blocks and aligning vibrations between you two

Written by Razhiel, posted on 28 October 2022 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

When you first break up with your loved one, your vibration would usually drop as you would likely have to go through a period of grief and anger. As you heal and feel better, your vibration rises again. However, if you continue to see that person negatively, you may manifest a version of that person who still remains in a lower vibration. As a result, you may energetically reject that person as that person does not match your recently improved vibration, and hence have them bounced off from your life.

Ask yourself the following questions to see if you still harbor negative feelings around this person and your relationship with them:

~ What do you feel about this person? Do you see them positively? Do you feel that they are suitable for you? Can they satisfy your desires?
~ What do you feel about getting back together with them? Do you feel it is possible? Do you feel that the relationship will be loving and fulfilling? Do you think it will bring you happiness? Do you believe it will last? Do you really want that person back?

By asking the above questions, you can find out any beliefs that prevent you from manifesting your ex-lover back into your life, and change those beliefs accordingly. However, if no matter how much you have worked on your vibration and changing your beliefs, and your heart still says no to your ex-lover, perhaps your experience has helped you evolve so much that your ex-lover is no longer an excellent match with you, and the Universe has arranged someone better for you instead! So, it can be beneficial for you to be open to new possibilities!

Dealing with Conflicts in Relationships

Written by Auriel on March 17 2022

When conflicts arise, tension between two parties grows because of the reluctance to understand and acknowledge each other’s feelings. ‘Facts’ could be thrown at the other person to make him or her realise that they are wrong. But the ultimate reason is often more about the desire of wanting our own feelings acknowledged by the other person than proving that the other person is wrong. This desire for acknowledgement usually goes both ways.

While the deeds could be right or wrong, there is no correct or wrong feeling.

Blockages and/ or stuck energies from the heart and sacral chakras could cause us to close up ourselves to feeling and receiving love, affection, appreciation, and acknowledgement. If the base chakra is also blocked, there is often a strong feeling of insufficiency or 'not having enough' that could also translate to fear and resentment. All of these could intensify reluctance to opening ourselves up to accepting the views and acknowledging the feelings of others. When this happens, acknowledgement from others may not be easily seen by us either, which altogether worsens the conflicts.

If you run into conflicts in a relationship, try to start by acknowledging that the other person is entitled to his or her feelings. Accept that he or she feels the way they do before presenting your view. When presenting your view, think about the intention of you addressing the issue—what is it that you truly want to express? Is it out of love or out of fear? Do not let fear cloud your judgement.

If you need advice or guidance, Auriel offers card-reading and is developing her relationship counselling service. Razhiel offers SRT and twin-flame counselling which help clear soul-level thought or behavioural patterns that could have accumulated through past, parallel or future lives.

Dealing with Breakup

Written by Auriel on March 01 2022

When we experience a breakup, it is easy to get into a vicious cycle of negative emotions. This could start with a state of anger and denial where we feel reluctant to accept the situation, a different opinion, or facts. Because we have invested so much time and energy into a person we care so much about, when things turn out different from how we expect, we could feel ‘betrayed’, for ‘how can this happen to me? I have done so so much. All the effort could not have been for nothing’. And so, we deny. Often, this denial stems from a deeper fear of rejection or abandonment.

Sometimes, we could be committing too much, making too many compromises only because we feel that if we do not, this person would leave us and ‘I do not want to be alone’.

Such fear of rejection and abandonment could be soul programmes accumulated throughout different lifetimes or experiences, that can be cleared through spiritual healing techniques such as Razhiel’s SRT. Auriel’s card-reading can also offer advice about how to best handle the situation while wearing the right crystal(s) helps draw into your life what you want.

But any spiritual workings would only be additional assistance to our own efforts to let go, change and grow. And before we can bring about what we want, sometimes we do need to go through and embrace such sad experience before we could rise above them. With strong emotions there is great power that could be harnessed for higher awareness that helps us progress.

Do not run away from pain. Take courage to face it. In confrontation with our fear, we take control and hence power back to ourselves.

How to attract the right romantic partner by using the Law of Attraction

Written by Razhiel, posted on 11 February 2022 also on theearthforce.tumblr.com and Instagram.

Ask yourself the following questions to see if you still harbor negative feelings around this person and your relationship with them:

Connections, attachments, and cords: an energetic study

Written by Razhiel, original article posted on 18 December 2018 on theearthforce.tumblr.com.

In the past year, I have been guided to get hand-on experiences to study and understand the energetic relations between a person and another existence in the world. Here is what I have found out so far, facilitated by my inner guidance and inspirations from Abraham-Hicks, Carlos Castaneda’s writings about his shamanism training with Don Juan Matus, and the Seth Material. To begin, there are three kinds of energetic relations between two people, or a person and an existence such as an object, a concept, a problem or an idea: (1) connections, (2) attachments, and (3) cords.

(1) A connection is driven by the agreement of the soul contracts between two people to maintain a close relation at the current moment. Under an optimal situation, people who we are connected to are the ones who are currently helping us to shift and supporting our lives. It can be our spouses, close friends, close family members, and important mentors and colleagues. It is represented as love (when the connection is strong) and a sense of caring.

Connections can come and go. In principle, the souls would deactivate the connection once the agreement expires, but it may not always be the case. Also, when two people are connected, their energies may affect each other, be it good or bad. Therefore, we need to optimise our connections: only activating the connections between us and the people who are important to us, and deactivating the rest. Our connections are part of us. Take care of them well!

(2) Attachments are energies between one person and another existence. They are the energies that give us negative emotions such as fear and sadness when we lose them in the physical reality, which is only a part of the bigger truth. The thing we are attached to can be a person, a place, an object, or even a concept (e.g. self-identity). Attachment is not love, although people can mistake fear and sadness as love (it is what we were taught since we were kids. That’s why we often mess them up.). According to Abraham-Hicks, love comes from our inner beings, which is part of the Source. When we are aligned to our inner beings, we feel love. Negative emotions do not come from our inner beings, and they appear when we are not aligned. However, it is possible that when two people are in love with each other, they also feel the fear of losing each other. In this case, they are both connected and attached.

When we make big decisions in life, it is advised to align ourselves to our inner beings first, then we would be able to tell whom we really have connections with and what we truly want. This prevents us from mistaking attachments as connections. Watch out that at different frequencies, we may want and be attracted to different things. However, when our frequencies are low, what we want may not be what our inner beings really want and may not be the best for us. So, stay tuned to our inner beings as much as possible, but understand it is normal that there are moments and periods that we are mis-aligned from our inner beings: this gives us contrasts and lessons, which can be good for us in the long run.

(3) Cords are energies between one person and another existence. When we focus on someone or something, a cord is formed and its energy may interfere us. Since we are the creators of our lives, every existence we focus on requires our energies to manifest it in great details in our lives. Therefore, when we skim through someone or something, and already feel that its energy is bad, don’t focus on it! If we focus on a problem, e.g. keeping on thinking about it, the energy related to that problem can come to us as well!

Our thoughts and energies can form cords that are beyond us as well: if we think about a problem with a person, even if that person has nothing to do with that problem, a cord can be formed between the two and that person can be affected by the energy of that problem! Therefore, we need to be mindful with our thoughts. It would be even better if the skill of cord cutting is acquired.

What to do if you feel that you are having problems with your connections, attachments and cords? A clearing/healing guide written according to my personal experience as a spiritual healer:

(I) Ask your High Self to declutter your connections to the optimal situation

(II) Cut all the attachments and cords between you and other people, world energy, the world and material possessions, past history, negative programs, energetic blocks, reasons, causes, beliefs, perceptions, judgement, false ideas, false concepts and other people’s energies (their opinions, their views, etc) *from* you, your connections, your physical and non-physical (e.g. websites, business, work) items, and your living area (yes, our items and our residence are extensions of us and need to be well taken care too!)

(III) Clear any negative program, energetic block, reason, cause, belief, perception, judgement, false idea, false concept that you have with your connections

(IV) You may need to do clearing/healing for some of the people whom you are connected to, especially if they are not well energetically

Note, potential physical side-effect during clearing: Reiki master Linda Elis told me that attachments are related to the stomach areas of our bodies. When I was cutting attachments and cords, I felt stomach discomfort. Once the clearing was done, my stomach felt much better.

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